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Starting School with an IEP: The Invisible Backpack Parents Carry

  • Writer: Allison Meyerson
    Allison Meyerson
  • 1 day ago
  • 3 min read

Introduction to a 5-part Series


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Welcome to The Invisible Backpack Parents Bring to School, a five-part series about the worries, hopes, fears, and experiences parents carry into a new school year.


In 1991, I got the job of my dreams. I had a few years under my belt as a private school teacher, but I landed a kindergarten position in a prestigious public school district in Rockland County, NY. I was thrilled. I spent an insane amount of time preparing my classroom, setting up centers, organizing supplies, and planning lessons. I was ready.


Then the first child walked into my classroom.


He was clutching his mom’s hand and literally shaking.


Suddenly, my own nerves took over.


I remember kneeling to speak softly to him and saying, “I’m so nervous too. Would you help me today? We can help each other.”


Thirty-five years later, I can still picture his little face and hear the catch in my own voice when I spoke those words. I don't think he realized how much I was holding back tears myself.


Because at that moment, something unexpected happened.


Every school memory I carried with me suddenly came rushing back. Every fear, every insecurity, every moment of wondering if I was enough, every anxious feeling about fitting in or getting things right came bubbling to the surface.


I tell my son all the time: No one gets through life without struggles. It just isn't always visible. Someone can appear completely put together while carrying fears, anxiety, trauma, disappointments, and invisible wounds that no one else sees.


Parents are no different.


When August rolls around, new school supplies aren't the only things parents are carrying into September. Parents are carrying their own school stories alongside their children's. They are carrying old insecurities, memories of feeling accepted or invisible, experiences that made them feel confident, and others that left lasting wounds. They are carrying memories of difficult meetings, worries about whether supports will actually happen this year, and hopes they are sometimes afraid to say out loud because they don't want to be disappointed again.And for parents of children with disabilities, learning differences, anxiety, behavioral needs, or school trauma, those bags can feel especially heavy.



💙 But here's what I have learned after decades as both an educator and an advocate:


You don't have to carry all of it alone.


You don't need to unpack every fear before school starts. You don't need to pretend you're not worried. You don't need to walk into September with perfect confidence.


✨ You can walk in with your fears and your hopes.

✨ You can walk in with your questions and your clarity.

✨ You can walk in carrying your past while still believing this year can be different.


And maybe together, we can unpack some of that weight so that when September arrives, you're carrying not just anxiety and uncertainty, but also calm, confidence, and hope.

 

Over the next five parts of this series, we’ll unpack the invisible weight many parents carry into a new school year, from old school experiences and difficult memories to fears, hopes, and all of the "what ifs" that come with September.

Because while school supplies fit neatly into a backpack, the things parents carry rarely do.


✨ Coming Next in The Invisible Backpack Parents Bring to School 🎒

Part 1 — Why Going Back to School Feels Different for Parents of Children with IEPs


Every parent walks into a new school year carrying something invisible.

Sometimes it's hope.

Sometimes it's fear.

Sometimes it's experiences from years before that quietly settle onto our shoulders and become heavier than we realize.


In Part 1, we'll unpack the fear of last year happening again — because difficult experiences have a way of following us into September, even when we desperately want a fresh start.

Because before we can put down some of the weight we're carrying, we first have to recognize what's inside the backpack.


💙 Advocacy with Heart,

Allison — The IDEA Ally


Helpful add-ons (free tools)



Next Steps and Resources:

The following websites are incredibly helpful when navigating the Special Education world.


Need help personalizing your letter or planning next steps? I offer one-on-one support—virtual anywhere in the U.S. and in-person across NY/NJ. Work with me.


About the Author

Allison Rosenberg Meyerson is a special education advocate with 30+ years in the classroom and as a literacy specialist. She is Orton-Gillingham Certified, a COPAA SEAT 1.0 graduate, and a Dyslexia Advocate. Based in Warwick, NY, she supports families across NY, NJ, and virtually nationwide through The IDEA Ally.


Contact: 


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